It has been one year since I started writing here.
One year of sitting down, sometimes late at night, sometimes early in the morning, trying to put into words the things I carry. Healing. Womanhood. The strange, beautiful, exhausting reality of living with a neurodivergent mind. The things we don’t say out loud but feel deeply.
When I started With Elli, I did not know what it would become. I just knew I needed a place to write, honestly, without performing, without filters. A space that was mine. And slowly, that is what it became. A small corner of the internet where I could be truthful, and where some of you found something familiar in those truths.
I want to be honest about where I am right now.
For the past months, I have been publishing every Sunday. It started as a rhythm that helped me, a commitment to myself, a way to keep showing up. But somewhere along the way, the rhythm became pressure. I started writing because it was Sunday, not because I had something ready to say. And when writing becomes something you have to do instead of something you want to do, the words stop coming as easily.
I also created sessions and courses, creative art workshops, computer lessons, community spaces, because I believed in them and I still do. But the truth is, nobody has reached out for those yet. And that is okay. It does not mean the ideas were wrong. It means the timing, or the way people find them, has not aligned yet. I would rather be honest about that than pretend otherwise.
So here is what I have decided.
I am not going anywhere. With Elli is not ending, it is evolving. But I am letting go of the weekly schedule. From now on, I will write when something is ready. When a reflection has had time to breathe, to settle, to become what it needs to be. Some weeks that might mean a new post. Other weeks, silence. And that silence is not absence, it is part of the process.
What I want to focus on now is the writing itself. Not the publishing, not the performance, not the pressure to keep a calendar full. Just the practice of putting honest words on a page. That is what brought me here in the first place, and I want to return to it.
Thank you for reading this past year, whether you have been here from the beginning or found your way here recently. This space was built with care, and it will continue to be. Just at its own pace now.
With warmth, Elli!
